Top 10 Reasons You Came to Jewell

10.  You couldn’t get into Wash U
9. Your mom went here
8. Your dad went here
7. You were conceived here
6. To play football
5. Because it’s a God fearing Baptist school
4. You’re from Johnson County
3. For the architecture program
2. There’s way more black kids here than at high school!
1. The hot chick from admissions gave you your tour

From: AJ Jacobs [mailto:aj.jacobs@me.com]
Sent: Wed 4/13/2011 8:46 AM
To: Paper
Subject: Re: College Students Rebelling with Comedy
Hi Paper, Congrats on The Paper. Great stuff. Good luck in your quest for more ink. And thanks for reading Esquire, both for its style tips and articles. AJ 
That’s right. We’re funny and stylish.

So, awhile back we fired off an email to Joel Stein. We never expected a reply, but this is part of the encouraging email we just got back:

[Paper], sir, is a noble endeavor. 

I checked it out and it is really cool looking…good luck not getting kicked out of school.

fuckin’ a.

So, we were supposed to be a bi-weekly publication, but we’ve had an overwhelming response to our first issue, so we’re going to work extra hard to get you a new Paper this week before spring break.

Be psyched.

Sorry about the low distribution this week.

Eventually we’ll get the whole issue posted up on here for those of you who haven’t gotten a copy. 

If any of you are desperate to get your hands on one, shoot us an email at wearemadeofpaper@gmail.com and we’ll see what we can do.

We’ve heard that some people have been upset by some of our articles. 

We have two words: 

1. suck

2. it

See what we did there? We didn’t take it seriously.

That’s the lesson in all this. Don’t take shit so seriously, we sure as hell aren’t.

Irony requires intelligence to grasp, and getting your panties in a wad over satire just displays your own ignorance of some basic modes of communication.

You all probably thought Jonathan Swift was a cannibal.

Seriously.